Well my second year as a YAV in Chicago has started and there have definitely already been ups and downs. I chose to stay in Chicago this summer in between years so there hasn't been much of a transition phase. I live in the same city, same neighborhood, have basically the same friends, still volunteer a couple times a week at the place I worked last year, all of this with no break. I find it is very easy to get burnt out and feel a little pointless when I have nothing to keep my mind focused on. I love the work that I do but some days I feel that I am not really working towards a goal or really helping anyone, I am doing work because I like the people and place I work with. Working in most job settings, it is easy to set goals and progress with your work. When working in outreach, especially with homeless people, sometimes it feels like there is just no goal to work towards, I am just kinda there. Since I have started feeling this way at work, my goals have shifted to more of a personal level. I have decided that I want to go to film school and will be starting the applications to schools soon. I have always LOVED art. I draw quite a bit, I love taking pictures, but without setting my mind to really focusing on what I want to do, I wouldn't have discerned what I want to do with my love for art in the future. I want to make movies, TV shows, documentaries. I want to be able to tell a story through my work and through my art. Another personal thing I have been trying to work on (trying is the key word here) is my faith and what it really means to be Christian. In almost all of my interactions with people on the street, with people I work with, and with the people I serve, I usually try to avoid talking about my faith. To some people, that may sound weird and even wrong, and I get that. However, the truth of the matter is that the church and Christianity as a whole has hurt a lot of people in this world, specifically people that I work with and interact with, whether that be people experiencing homelessness, LGBTQ community, young people, people of color, etc. The list goes on. It is much easier to form a lasting bond if going into it, the mindset is to learn and listen rather than to evangelize and force my religion at people. Since I am so intentional about not sharing my faith unless I am asked about it, it makes it a bit more difficult for me to really think about it. Lately, I think my focus has been more on being a good person that it has been on being a good Christian. As I continue to work on figuring myself out more, hopefully I can grow and find out what it really means to be a good Christian in a space where the mention of anything about the church very well could end a conversation or even a relationship. Overall, I am excited about what this year and the future have in store for me. Thanks for reading. Stay safe out there friends.
